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Over the last couple of weeks my anxiety has been kicked up to an 11 due to Wolsey's surgery, work and just a lot of stuff in my head. Last night I took some meds to go to sleep and ended up having dreams I mostly remember.

The first dream is we were in a house, a real place (sort of in the dream) that I lived at as a child. It mostly consisted of my dad talking to us, giving us shit. We were talking about a girl named Brie Larson who my dad had a fling with in the house (the reality is there was a drunken one night thing in the place I don't think the girl was named Brie though). My dad was being huge and giving us shit about the place.

For some reason I turned around annoyed when he brought up the place and I said "Well, this is the place where you died too" and everything stopped. It wasn't of course, he died in a place 30 years later. He just looked at me and I realized he was gone in the real world. He just gave me a small smile and said he loved me.

I woke up and found it was about 1am. I didn't want to get up and I must have fallen asleep fairly soon after.

The second dream was more intense and longer, but I remember less of it as I am sitting here. I remember it was a hospital and there were many people there. My mom was in the hospital again to get surgery on her heart. In the real world I think I did this with her four times before she had the final problems she died from eventually.

We waited for her to come out and several others that went in for surgery around the same time she did had passed away. there was a lot of stress about her results. After some drama with the nurses and with my sister (which is too close to what happened in real life with my father) I was freaking out. Finally they brought her back out and she was ok. All I could focus on though was how thin her skin felt when I was hugging her. Thats when I woke up.

So there it is, the depressing dreams of the day :).

3/5/2016

Mar. 5th, 2016 06:48 pm
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image

Hanging with mom and hubby at Arlis's.
#luckyslife
worldoflucky: (Default)
 Hi Folks, I need some help. My father’s imminent passing has us cornered. He doesn’t have any funeral insurance (or life insurance at all) and Social Security only provides $255. We are trying to swing for payment of his funeral (plot, etc) plus the plot for my mom so when she passes she can be buried next to him.

If we could get any help, we’d be very appreciative.

I want everyone to understand I absolutely HATE doing this. There is a reason I avoided help for Wolsey’s surgery (we were able to harangue the money in the end). However, as is the norm, my dad’s timing sucks and this is happening just as we paid out for Wolsey’s surgery last week.

1. By no means do I expect anyone to help. This is just in case someone does want to help. You all have been great and I already feel crappy even asking.

2. Do not feel bad if you don’t help. There isn’t any reason for you to feel bad. Sometimes shit happens, and we roll with it.

3. Some people don’t like gofundme (and I don’t blame them). If you want to still help I am ok with taking anything in person or by mail/paypal/whatever.

4. This is the most important part. Just having you folks be so warm helps a lot. This will get figured out, no matter what, I will make it work.

I want to thank everyone for how supportive they have been. That alone leaves me and my family walking away on top.

Thank you for everything.

If you can help, please see our GoFundMe (https://www.gofundme.com/9jnpq2xj)page, or contact me directly.

Oh, and I am intentionally not posting this on Accidentally Gay. It isn’t fair for me to ask for help on a site specifically for a different purpose (thank you to those who suggest, I just don’t think it is fair of me).

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