worldoflucky: (Default)
I was thinking I need to post about my goals in 2017. I have been thinking a lot lately about my life. I have a great life, I am married to the greatest guy ever, 25 years this year! Everyone does their New Year Resolutions, so I guess I will put my goals out. These are just goals; the details will change as we go. They are kept vague so I can adjust and I don’t get frustrated too much, which will end up with me just quitting. Oh and no I am not going be a “better person” that stuff is bullshit. I am who I am, there is nothing wrong with me.
calvin-hobbes-new-years-resolutions

Physical Health: I will work on my health. Not by getting out there and losing a hundred pounds, working out three times a week, etc. We have seen that is hard for me to do that and I will put some attempt instead I want to focus on sleep. This is my single biggest problem. This is what I need to work on. I also am going to work on my current physical ailments and I aim to get all of them looked out in the first six months of the year.
squirrel-meme

Mental Health: I need to clear out distractions in my mind. The low-level anxiety that is spewed out by our news and social media. Don’t get me wrong, I am a social warrior white knight and that won’t change, but I need to take care of myself. I need to discard toxic people, toxic websites, toxic anything. I also think I am going to meditate more on my butsudan.
 
My actual butsadon at our old place.
My actual butsudan at our old place.

Time: The deaths of my parents last year were a wake-up call. I have less time in front of me probably then I do behind me. I have a lot of things that are spinning wheels. I don’t have a big plan on how to fix time, I just know I need to do it. Mostly I need time for myself, and this may help my mental health item above.
 
daylight-saving-time-memes-02-550x538

Hobbies:
I have several things I want to explore that include writing, computer generated/3d art, photography, continuing my YouTube channels, roleplaying games, and video games. These items are my focus right now in various levels of pursuit. There are a lot of gaming like things I think I may drop though. As I work this out I will post more about it.

 
the-problem-with-rpg-games_o_661176

Relationships: Just to be with my wonderful husband as much as possible. Everything else is negotiable.

 
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This isn’t a super in-depth list intentionally, I just want to do generalities, that way I don’t judge myself harshly if I do poorly, or to get a big head if it goes great. I think the one other big thing I want to do is just journal more here, and AccidentallyGay.com at the very least.
worldoflucky: (Default)
This is an extremely quick update as I have to drive to Oak Harbor in about 15 minutes.

1. Meds are working great. I adjusted the dosage Saturday night so I am still feeling the shift. I should have waited until next week since I am off all week.

2. I am ahead of schedule for nanowrimo, my current word count is 27,625 and I have all of next week off.

3. I got new tattoos. I don't recall if I showed the scorpion I got a month ago, but Saturday I started on the Sacred Heart/Ohm symbol.

Sacred Heart



I am about halfway done with the sacred heart, with an Ohm symbol inside. I was born and raised Catholic, but my family became Nichiren Buddhist for about five years.

Now, I am neither, but both had a large influence on me.
 

IMG_0129

 

 

Here is a whole back image. The lion on the left is representative of me being Leo (no, not really into astrology, but I thought it was kind of cool). The center is the sacred heart/ohm symbol, and the right is a scorpion (my wife is a scorpio).

Well off to work, hopefully post more later.

PS. I will start posting the pics of the day again ASAP, work schedule is just too hard to go out of my way :)
worldoflucky: (arabic demon girl)
This week has been fairly stressful. Well to be honest the whole summer has, with the amount of travel and lack of relaxation has meant my summer went by for the most part without me realizing it. I am lucky now, I am working in Arlington so its only a 30 minute ride each direction. The audit there is going well, we finally had our brainstorm on Thursday and we also had the County exit on Thursday.

Also as a side note, I applied at the Health District as a Financial Systems Accountant. Basically its the person second in charge of the finance department for the Health District. The good points is the job is only a mile away, wouldn't require any travel, would start at more than I max out at my current position (about 10-15% higher) but itself tops out near 85k a year (sadly enough I would be making 85k a year now if I worked in the private sector). The Business Manager will be retiring in three years and they are looking for the Systems Accountant to hopefully step into his shoes so it would be a move up higher into that position if things worked out. I have audited them for three years (and I am the Health District Specialist for the State of Washington's Auditor Office) so I have worked with those people on a semi-regular basis. Also the duties they perform for the public are something I can believe in. In addition to providing health inspections, food handling permits, biohazard emergency response, CDC emergency programs, they also provide a lot of medical services to those to the poor. As a side note, if I do get this job I am going to probably have to get my CPA, which would be even more valuable in future job searches.

The disadvantages to that job is that I will be at the same place day in and day out (one of the reasons I enjoy auditing is I don't get in a rut). Although, I have discovered now that I have worked three years and three months at my current job, that even though I move around I am still in a rut. I would have to learn the other side of auditing (being the auditee not the auditor) and it would also mean I will be living in Everett indefinitely. It is not that Everett is bad, I actually like living here, but we were planning on moving to Portland in a couple of years.

Overall though I think its worth it, if I could make a bit more money I could take care of my parents better. We might even look for a house if I made a little bit more. If we got a house I think I could convince my parents to come live down with us in a separate mother-in-law suite so we could offset a lot of their bills. It would also be working for a cause I could believe in and once you get into a position like that, its easy to get jobs anywhere in local governments as a Finance Director.

I think part of my problem lately is that, I am a little disillusioned. Our office is meant to audit local and state government agencies, unfortunately lately my office has been concerned with "customer service" with those agencies and in my opinion has "softened" up on our reviews (and on some issues) in order to not rock the boat. With all the budget cuts I think there is a fear that the local governments may lobby the legislature to slash our ability to audit. This seems sort of counter to what we should be doing. Times are tough, and instead of lowering budgets, softening our responses I think this is the time we need to be reviewing to our fullest extent. This is the exact economic environment that would pressure local governments into doing things with their funds that are not allowed, to cut corners in violation of RCW (state law) and to perhaps take position on financial/RCW issues that are more "grey" in their interpretation. I am sure my disillusionment will lighten, but I am a little frustrated on some issues.

So that was earlier this week. For some reason all week I have been unable to sleep much, enough that even though I had yesterday off I was up at 3am (so was wife), but we ended up going to bed around 4am and slept until 9:30am. I then get a call at 1pm yesterday and my dad told me that my mom was in the hospital. Evidently last night her shoulder hurt so she took her nitro, then she woke up again hurting, took more nitro and did this three or four times. My dad asked her to go to the ER, but she was too embarrased to have the ambulances come up. So my dad took her in this morning.

She is fine now, they put another stent in, one of the stents from her original heart attack in 2005 was closing again and she is feeling better. My dad is pretty angry with her for not going in the night before and I doubt he will let her get away with it. So I found all of this out yesterday, was a bit stressed but calmed down and I got to spend a great afternoon with my wife. Last night I had a cider, but as every time I have a beer or cider before going to bed I had stressful dreams and I ended up not sleeping well. I am not meant to drink :)

So here I am, early morning and feeling tired. I may go visit my mom this afternoon (she is coming home today), maybe while we are up in Bellingham (if we go) we will stop by the Lynden Fair, we haven't been there in three years (actually four now that I think about it).

So overall I am having a stress reaction, but the wife is helping me battle it. I did a bit of meditation today and I feel a little better. I am starting working out again, that helps a little too. 

Edit: I am evidently tired so if my above post came out redundant, at least you know why.
worldoflucky: (Default)
I am not even sure where to start this. Today has been pretty stressful and I am feeling pretty hammered on all sides. I guess it started a few weeks ago when I got sick, it has taken forever to kick it. I am still stuck with a barking cough that we thought might have been bronchitis. 

The doctor appointment went extremely well actually. We have had some bad experiences with Group Health so far, but yesterday and today have taken the edge off some of that. Yesterday I saw Dr. Mwatha. My normal doctor (Shauna Smith) who I absolutely do not like was not available as she is out on vacation. However, Dr. Mwatha could see me.

When she came into the room she was extremely friendly, reassuring and listened to myself and [personal profile] ethicalcannibal. The part of listening to EC was even cooler as she didn't discount EC's experience as a nurse like the other doctor did. Dr. M checked me out, took all my vitals and believes I have post-viral cough. Basically I had a viral upper respiratory infection and the cough is sort of the left over of that. She also talked to me about some of my other health concerns and wasn't worried about the time. Our other doc constantly checked the time and wasn't interested in talking about any other issues. I am hoping when Dr. M's practice opens up that we can switch over.

I got home last night and the cough kept me up most of the night. I figure I got 5 real hours of sleep. Also I probably had a hard time sleeping due to stress, since I was scheduled to see a person about my anxiety the next morning. I woke up, had a weak cup of coffee and went to work feeling like crap. I was scheduled to go to the specialist around 9am so I worked for a couple hours.

I got home, rolled the wife into the car and went to the appointment. She was pretty damn cool. She listened to me, went over some of the stuff she saw (and she had it pretty much on the nose). We both confirmed that I need to learn tools to handle my anxiety. I am probably going to take some anxiety handling classes, continue seeing her and might look into ADD (she is pretty sure I have it, especially when she asked what happens when I drink a pot of coffee and I told her I usually would go to sleep). Even though it was an initial consultation I felt like it was going somewhere. EC helped a huge ton during the consultation as well, I can't thank her enough for going with me.

By the time I dropped EC back at home I was exhausted and I trundled back into work. Most of the day is a blur, a long, slow, spiritual sapping blur ending with some frustrations with the entity and the fact that I got changed audits (for the next audit). Quite a drop in money for reimbursement, but it does mean I won't be working 11 hour days so I guess its for the best. I was hoping to use that to pay down the remaining medical billing. At least at my new place its only a 9 hour workday and I still get some extra each day.

I got home, crawled into bed with EC and napped for awhile. Unfortunately at this point I am not really sure what happened really except we got into an argument a little while later when I woke up (which I have to say the lion share of the blame definitely belongs with me). So I left the house to cool down and realized I hadn't had any coffee today since the one weak cup of coffee at 6am...... I suspect I know where my grumpy argumentative self came from. This came to me after I bought my first coffee house espresso in months.

damn......

worldoflucky: (Default)
I do have to say this week has sucked a lot. It started with having to turn my computer in. I did get my computer back on Wednesday (4 days early) so I guess I can't complain too much. Unfortunately getting it back early hasn't helped as it has been the week of suck.

Sunday:
Sunday was awesome. I hung out with [personal profile] ethicalcannibal, ran her some solo gaming, then got some solo gaming ran by her for me. Sunday did not suck at all, well except turning in the computer for repairs. Like I said above though, I was busy enough I didn't notice it.

Monday:
Work sucked, there are some annoying entity staff at my current audit. They have put off doing what they were supposed to do and it impacts my work.  I did work out on Monday, so no complaints on that part.

Tuesday:
Tuesday sucked because [personal profile] ethicalcannibal had a really sucky day. Her disease kicked up to almost as bad as when she was in full thyroid storm. The end result was she left school this quarter. It may require us paying back money, but I don't care, I only care that she gets taken care of. She is worried, but I am trying to reassure her. I am happy as long as I get to spend my life with her, everything else I can get over. I ended up taking the whole day off from work, but because work is going sucky I ended up working 9.5 or more hours anyways from home.

Wednesday:
Wednesday I got sick. It started with a sore throat and a crappy feeling. I called in to work, but I still ended up working like 6 hours from home. By the end of the day I was sweating, feverish and fully sick. Sick enough that the wife had to basically pin me down and make me drink Nyquil. The one good part of this day was that I got my computer back. They replaced the logic board. Unfortunately I was too sick to play with it.

Thursday (Today):
Even sicker this morning. I actually had to use a full sick day, no working from home. Although I did get to play with the computer and by the end of the day my laptop was running games beautifully. It did this when I first got it in October 2008, but kept crashing from early 2009 and never could play games like I used to play on it. Today I tested some Empire Total War.... EXCELLENT. Although the recurring fever and cough can leave, I would appreciate that.

One thing that sucked all week.... no working out.  I  haven't worked out since Monday and I probably wont work out until next week with how crappy I feel. I  can already feel my fat cells expanding.

Also today I watched [personal profile] ethicalcannibal drawing for [livejournal.com profile] finnegwyn's character in Shadowrun. It makes me just want to pick up an iPad just so I can do that sort of thing.

Other than that, things are picking back up. I postponed going to my parents tomorrow. The last thing I want to do is give my parents this sickness. Maybe we will see them on Saturday, if not we will visit next week. I do think this will be cleared by Sunday's game though, so that part I have some hope.

Oh, and I think I am going to start doing an occaisional one shot game intermixed with Shadowrun. Along the lines of my Halloween games. I really have been wanting to run some horror/strange one shot games. I think when I do run one, I will give everyone some warning, that way if they aren't interested they don't have to play. I would then make the characters (probably more realistic in points and setup, not the huge PC's we sometimes do for games) and all the players have to do is show up and play (I will probably bake as well, both "dead" cupcakes/cake and "survivor" cupcake/cakes). I suspect my first one shot game will be set in Burning Twilight as a Dead Space/Event Horizon sort of set up.

Oh well, now the coughing has started again so I will wrap this up, nite.


worldoflucky: (arabic demon girl)
I have noticed over time that I have become more of an anxious person. The wife suggests I have been anxious the whole time, but when I was younger I had other ways of dealing with it (one of the reasons why I have quit 50+ jobs and never worked more than 10 months at any one job until I worked here). She very well could be right, I can definitely admit it.

The anxiety probably stems from my growing up poor, homeless and around so much violence (there are perks growing up in my family too, but those perks didn't help with my anxiety levels). Growing up in these kind of conditions actually damages a person mentally. I have a hard time not responding aggressively to stressful situations, and I need to just let things roll off of me. Another bad aspect is life spans are shortened considerably for people growing up in those stressful situations. Our anxiety mechanisms get broken and it effects the health later in life (even if you get out of the situation like I did, up until recently it was believed your stress system stays broken once it breaks). However, they have discovered neural plasticity, the ability for your brain to make new connections and learn new things. This in turn helps you change your stress reaction mechanism.

Now that I am approaching 40, it dawns on me that I probably wont die at a young age. Growing up I firmly never believed I would make it past 30. I would either end up in the military and dead in some foreign country, or in prison/gang violence (biker gang variety, not street gang, no experience with street gangs). I had never envisioned I would live to be older. Now that my life has turned out way better than ever expected, I need to consider the possibilities I might possibly hit 70+ years old. So now I have to look at my health.

Lately I have been trying to change my health. Hence my vegetarianism, working out, trying to eat right. Now I need to deal with the stress. This means I have to change almost 40 years worth of mental conditioning. I have looked at counseling, but I don't feel I have tried other options enough yet. I have considered Christianity, but I see too much hypocritical actions, and to be honest I am an ex-Catholic, the rest of the churches seem like pretenders to begin with, and I definitely can't go back to Catholicism (I disagree with too many of the stances). So I am currently meditating and considering Buddhism.

When I was 8, we went through 4 years of being Nichiren Buddhists. While the rest of my life during that time was still stressful, there was always a bit of peace when we chanted at the butsadan. It was something I didn't quite fathom at the time, I was an impatient child (almost feral really). Now that I am older I am interested in looking at Buddhism again. I am not sure if it would be Nichiren, Zen, or some other type of Buddhism. I very much like the tenants of all the different sects, and honestly I am not sure I would go fully religious about it (although the fact its more of a philosophy then a religion pleases me as well).

While I am looking at this, I need to do more about my mental head space and dealing with anxiety. I am trying to give myself positive self-affirmations (sounds stupid, but I give myself constant negative affirmations already, I figure if I can turn that around it will be worth it by itself). I am also going to try and let things roll off of me. I just need to breath deeper, not read the comments in political articles (those always flip me out) and mostly I need to focus on the here and now. Not worry about what happened in the past, or what might (or even will) happen in the future. I need to concentrate on the now and enjoying it.

I have started to ramble and this has gotten long so I will sum it up. I am attempting to live more in the now, let things I can't control roll off of me and love those I meet. Also, maybe I will take a look at Buddhism again.

Waking up

Aug. 8th, 2010 03:54 am
worldoflucky: (Default)
Not sure why, ended up waking up at 3:30am this morning, a bit tired and disorientated... No nightmares or anything like that I can remember.
worldoflucky: (Default)
Last night [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal and I listened to a meditation podcast last night. I think it worked really well. Afterwords I felt a ton better and I slept pretty well last night, even if it was for a short amount of time (and I think there were decent dreams). I think we are going to start listening to it more often (there are a ton of meditation tapes from the Australian Society of Meditation, plus others). I think it can be a very good tool to help with my anxiety. That plus i will start my working out again today. When I get home I am going to go up and do some weight lifting. Then maybe some Cthulhu if people are up for it.

worldoflucky: (Default)
This morning I went worked out. The people are very friendly and seem to be on a first name basis with each other. I pushed myself a lot harder today then I have previously, was all shaky and even now my muscles are tired. I hit muscle fatigue with the shoulder presses, but I finished out and now feel good, if a bit tired. I also biked 4 miles on the bicycle machine as a warm up. I think I am going to follow [livejournal.com profile] ashcake and start the middle earth challenge.

Later today we are going up to see my parents in Bellingham, then visit with [livejournal.com profile] ashcake, [livejournal.com profile] talkswithwind, and Sean. Tomorrow we have a Shadowrun game at 5pm, large run, large pay and large danger, you know you all want that :)

I am not sure I am going to walk to work. I am shaky and tired, although it would be a good cool down I guess.
worldoflucky: (Default)
Last night was good, got to play some Cthulhu and then crawled in bed with my wonderful wife. Woke up on my own at 4:30 (amazing I slept all the way through since 10:30 since we closed the cat out of the room). Was at the gym by 5am and pumping iron by 5:15 (did some bicycle riding to warm up, maybe I should follow [livejournal.com profile] ashcake and start tracking the distances).

I got home just before 6am, showered and now I have some tea and getting dressed for work. I am sad, I have to take the car today as I have to go to the office two different times today but have to be back at the County in between to do more work. Its amazing how good I feel after working out. I went in feeling very rough around the edges and now afterwards I am a little tired but feeling really good, full of energy.

This weekend is going to be great, I got a GURPS Shadowrun game planned, old school "one shot" type. Of course I hope the characters do good and are there for the next "one shot". Until we can all get together regularly this is probably the best way to handle it. Although I am hoping in July it will become regular ([livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal isn't going to school and my work schedule will slow down mid/end of July). Also Friday I am getting off work early so I can go see my parents, maybe visit with Sean and [livejournal.com profile] ashcake / [livejournal.com profile] talkswithwind . The only thing I am waiting on is if I have to run the game Saturday evening or Sunday. Its starting to look like Saturday evening, which may be better anyways. I am hoping Dunk can make it, that would be cool too (oh and [livejournal.com profile] yog_sothoth you are welcome to come play as well). 

Well off to work.

Busy

Jun. 1st, 2010 05:46 am
worldoflucky: (Default)
Yesterday was a very good day. We went up and saw Dunk and Iron Man 2. We had to cancel Cthulhu due to illness last night so [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal and I came home and I ran her one of her solo games. Unfortunately I stayed up too late. My goal this morning was to go in and work out at 5am (I get up about then anyways). Unfortunately between me getting to bed late and the cat I have gotten maybe 4 hours of sleep. I need to start going to bed and turning out the light at 10pm or so if I want to do that. If I perk up I will still work out tonight. I have been working out every other day this week. Feeling pretty good, but if I have to push it until tomorrow it will just get me back on my MWF schedule (right now I am ahead of schedule).

I am running GURPS this weekend, a group game of Shadowrun. I am pretty stoked about it. I am especially interested since I am running this like old school Shadowrun. I will treat it like a one shot game, we will see where the pieces fall during the game for the characters (and all characters remaining at the end can play in the next game after that). Think of a Halloween game without the overall horror/death situation :).

I better get ready, I am exhausted and this day is going to be long. Maybe I will go home early today.
worldoflucky: (wet cat)
Today I spent the day web searching for new workout diaries. I haven't been able to find my old workout planner and so was hoping to find something. However [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal saved the day and found our old one.

We then commenced the measuring of my various body parts. It was a little disappointing but I suspected the end result. I don't think I have changed much myself since we worked at the gym, rather I think the trainers were nervous they might touch "boy parts" when measuring so they never got a fully accurate measurement.

I am also going to try and implement a more "diabetic" diet. I am hoping this staves off my family tendency to get diabetes (both sides of family have it) plus it will reduce my overall sugar intake.

Because I am weightlifting I am not going to weigh myself and track my weight. I am a big guy (normally around 270lbs, but at 6'3" or so it doesn't look as bad on me) I could lose 40lbs easy and be healthier. Since muscle weighs more than fat I wont measure the weight as if things are going right I will either maintain or get heavier if I ever super bulk out.

Finally today I reopened my caloriecount profile. I am not worried about weight, but I am worried about tracking what I eat. I need something I can continously input my food intake. I need to do it as I go and not wait until the end of the day, so I don't "forget" anything.

I figure at the end of each month I will remeasure my parts and see where I stand. The only thing left I need is a body fat calculating machine.
worldoflucky: (arabic demon girl)
Lately I have been a bad boy. I haven't gone to the gym in a couple/three weeks and it sort of has slipped away. I really want to get back into working out and it really needs to be done quickly.

So I ended up reading Weight Lifting for Dummies. Sadly enough just in the couple hours I have been reading it, it has given me better information then our old trainer did. It explains why you wait 48 hours between working out the muscles again, why you need to drink water so much (more then just dehydration), etc.

So this week I am going to go back and start working out. I always have an excuse that I don't have enough time. But to be perfectly honest its more laziness than anything. I have a lot of time, I can adjust what I do in the afternoon, and if that is too packed I could go work out in the morning. Also part of me has been holding off because [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal has been too sick and I have been "waiting" for her. Which of course is truly a lie, I was just being lazy.

I don't think I will look like a model, nor do I want to get skinny. I would like however to get in better shape, get more energy, sleep better, and not end up with bone loss and muscle issues when I am older. Also, I would like to get in good enough physical condition, that maybe during Season 3 of Dying Light I wont be dead after trying to fight twentysomethings for ten minutes.

I think I am going to do the beginner full body workouts 3 times a week. Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. I keep saying that I don't have the time, but like I said earlier that is a lie and I just need to write it down on the calendar and treat it like its already required and just go.

Tomorrow I will put a little workout diary together (or maybe find my old one), get my program set up and then Friday go in. I feel bad not waiting for [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal but I am sure part of that is laziness too. Besides, the more workouts I can get in, the better I can look for her :).
worldoflucky: (arabic demon girl)
The last two days I have been commuting out to Skykomish. Its about an 1.5 hour (or a little less) commute each way and I get gas reimbursement and exchange time for it. Its a nice drive, but by the end of the day I put in at least 11 hours and it does make me a bit tired. This is why last two days I hadn't done any working out. The wife and I plan to remedy this on Thursday, get in a good workout before going down to Dying Light on Friday.

I woke up this morning at 1:30 am. I was so hot and sweaty that I couldn't handle myself. I also was coughing a lot. Great, a fever and a cough not a good sign. I should have figured this was what was happening, yesterday my nose wouldn't quit running. Now its 3:00am and I am no longer too hot and my cough is subsiding, I think I am going to call in sick as I still am not on top of my game. I will probably work a little bit from home.

I realized this morning, this event will be the last event I take the whole Friday off. This is because after this Friday (at least until July) [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal has school until noon. It means I can work a half day at least each Friday instead of blowing a vacation/exchange day to head down for Dying Light. Don't get me wrong, loving DL, I just hate blowing a vacation day so I can sit down at the park until 4pm or later until people show. This way I can save more vacation for other things that don't require waiting for people to show up. I have a ton of stuff for plot planned this weekend, unfortunately I haven't been able to talk to my two main plot guys to go over the stuff, will have to have an impromptu meeting when they get there Friday night. The cool thing is I have a ton of plot volunteers, I will have to divvy them over the weekend, but I am stoked about that. Especially since at least the first few games I wont be as mobile with the still healing ankle.

In good news, combining our tax return and extra hours put in at work we were able to pay back about $1,000 on our credit card this month. Slightly less than 10%, but it was an awesome feeling (we are mostly worried about paying the two Chase credit cards used for medical/moving, the revolving line of credit has decent interest and the credit union is cool so we aren't so stressed about that). YAY!!!

Oh, and to just share with everyone, I love my wife ([livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal ) I don't think I publicly shout this enough, so here I am shouting it again.

Surviving

Dec. 29th, 2009 10:16 pm
worldoflucky: (catgirl)
I have been sick now for about 36 hours. Not the puking kind (thank the gods), rather the sore throat and fever kind. I was originally going to go into work anyways (after my audiology appointment to check my hearing). However, my beautiful wife [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal was smart and convinced me to cancel the appointment and not go in.

In addition I stayed home, however I did have the advantage today of being able to work from home. I have an upcoming audit, and it takes about 10-12 hours worth of time to read the entity's minutes and look for areas I will need to investigate. I got a good 8 hour chunk of it done today, from my couch. Have I said recently how much I like my job.

I did get a gentle push by some people higher up to apply for the "Team Performance". This team does the performance auditing for the state (focusing on different projects at different times). They are trying to expand it and it would involve being part of the team that finds ways for the state and local governments to save money. Its a lot more fun type of auditing then financial statements, or federal single audits (and even more fun than accountability auditing - I do all three types for my current team).

However, I wasn't sure this would work for me, and after talking with the wife I am sure of it, so I won't apply. The first problem is the location. I would have to move down to Olympia. While it would put us closer to our Vancouver/Portland friends (and that would be cool), it takes us further from my family in Bellingham, takes the wife away from the college she is returning too in March, and takes me away from my friends. The second problem is the politics. Team Performance is a very politically motivated team. They are sort of the "cause" pushed for by the higher ups. This means a lot more legislative and political scrutiny. In addition the team itself supposedly has politics in between members (one of my current team's people is from Team Performance Audit). I really like my co-workers, I enjoy what I do and I don't really want to deal with politics. Maybe I will look at this again after [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal graduates with an accounting degree in a few years.

I am also very happy with our current mechwarrior campaign (not the best transfer between subjects I know). The team is getting along great, I think there is a connection between the characters that has been lacking in most of the recent games in the last 5 years. I especially think this is the case because several people are not super interested necessarily in the tabletop version of Battletech, but they are enjoying the group and the RP that they are satisfied enough.

Rest of my life in a nutshell:
  • Christmas went well, got to see the parents, hang out and visit the rest of the family as well.
  • My ankle is doing very well, it aches with me being sick right now, but PT is going fine and I am beyond where I think I would be normally.
  • I am still unable to drive, my doc is being super super conservative, this means poor [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal is still driving me to and from work (and any subsequent worksites I have to go to).
  • Orpheus seems to have recovered, he is pretty much himself.
  • Avatar rocks, rocks so much that I am taking the wife and nephew and niece to see it a second time (nephew and niece are seeing it for the first time).
  • We are hoping to go down to Vancouver and visit the Vancouver/Oregon folks on the 22nd of January (returning afternoon of the 23rd).
  • I am sick of candies/cookies, I cooked a bunch (as did the wife) to give to our local friends/family. I am still gathering recipes to send off to my friends in Australia and England. I want to make sure they survive the journey (and I think I found some damn nice shortbread like cookies).
  • Oh, and FIOS is working extremely well, I am so far extremely happy with it over Comcast/DSL.
  • I am on Facebook, but am undecided if I want to keep that path. I like a lot of the people, but there is a lot of noise to real communication ratio, maybe instead of FB I will reopen twitter. I got more information that way than I do with FB.
Well that's it for now, one of my New Year's goals is to post more, so hopefully you guys will get to read my stuff more often.
worldoflucky: (Default)
Last night I got a total of 3 hours of sleep. I kept having horribly anxious nightmares, and waking up with anxiety. In addition I kept waking up in a cold sweat. It was the worst sleep I have had in a couple of years.

I figure it has to do partially with the time of year. For some reason this time of year I sleep like crap. I am not sure if its some sort of seasonal disorder, the holidays, or something from my childhood that makes me anxious from after Halloween through the end of the year.

The other reason dawned on me this morning. Yesterday was the first day I haven't taken any narcotics for my ankle. The first week and a half to two weeks was a Percocet dream. I remember bits of it, but only bits. Since then I downgraded to Vics and it has lessened, I have been down to one or two a day. Yesterday was my first day without any. I wonder if that is part of it.

I have a 4 hour class, then 4 hours of work. Tomorrow is another shorter day, since its shorter I am considering taking the whole day off. Then I have a quarterly office meeting/Xmas party on Friday. I am hoping by next week I am back to normal.

Anxiety

Nov. 16th, 2009 07:12 am
worldoflucky: (Default)
Last night I slept like crap. I realize its a bit of anxiety about going back to work today. My ankle has been hurting all night and this morning I almost decided to take another week off. However; I really need to get back on the horse (and give [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal a day off). I got about 5 hours of sleep, and although that wasn't so abnormal normally, I haven't slept less then 7 hours a night since the surgery, so its not easy this morning.

I get to wheel around and audit a Housing Authority today. I did it last year, right at the tail end of the snow storm. The people there are ok, but they don't like State Auditor's very much, so I don't look forward to pushing to get information that should be readily available. I get to be there for three-four weeks, then I move onto the other Housing Authority in the area for four weeks. This is all good though, it means I only work 6-10 blocks from my apartment until Christmas. I do go out to Arlington School District after that, but hopefully I will be out of my brace (it will be approximately 12 weeks after surgery when I go out there). Hopefully by then I wont need a taxi driver/wife.

The good thing is this week is short for working at the Housing Authority, I have a training day on Wednesday (for updating schools auditing training) and Friday is our quarterly meeting/Christmas Party. So only three real days of work. The same for next week, since its Thanksgiving our office gets Thursday and Friday off (instead of Columbus day like some state agencies).

The goal for this week, survive work, work on Mechwarrior and somehow to repay wife for all she has done.

Thank you

Nov. 12th, 2009 02:40 pm
worldoflucky: (Default)
I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of comments on my last post. I am going to be lazy and just say thank you to everyone. It is really appreciated. Today I don't feel so frustrated. The doc likes how my ankle looks so he approved me standing for a shower Saturday or Sunday. He then sent me off for three weeks of physical therapy.

We attempted to get PT at the same clinic, but they were booked out five weeks and that wouldn't work. So we got desperate and called the PT office right outside our living room window. They do accept our insurance and they are getting me in today (in about 40 minutes). So now I am on the process of working back up.

I thought I would give everyone a status update, and to say once again, I feel very blessed that so many people responded, thank you very much. The frustration has left for now, and I am feeling pretty good (if a little sore from the doctor yanking on my ankle to test it).
worldoflucky: (Default)
I just need to whine here a bit and complain that I have gotten nothing done in the last 2.5 weeks I have been off work. I spend my days drowsing in and out of conciousness, I spend little time with the wife and I miss her horribly (even though she is only sitting 5 feet from me). On the occaisional days that I do something, it makes the next day more  painful.

I just want this over with, I want to go back to work, I want to hang out with the wife and enjoy her company without falling asleep on her. I am just tired of this frustration.

On that note, my wife has been nothing but awesome during this. She has taken care of me, helped me around, fed me, clothed me and put up with my whining. I cannot express how much I appreciate her. I love you [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal .

worldoflucky: (Default)
Last week sucked, not a tiny bit but in a universally huge way. Surgery, pain, drug haze, and unable to really be around my wife for a week royally sucked. Saturday I got a little braver, went out to Pacific Fabric, Joanne's, Totem and finally Alfy's Pizza. Sunday stayed home but got to hang out with [livejournal.com profile] finnegwyn [livejournal.com profile] ethicalcannibal [livejournal.com profile] godling [livejournal.com profile] dudeling we talked about Dying Light, the new Mechwarrior campaign and just chatted. It was very nice to get to see o[livejournal.com profile] dudeling outside of Dying Light. It seems running the LARP may increase our social circle, another good reason to be running the game.

I woke up today even more clearer then I felt over the weekend. My leg aches but doesn't burn or hurt like it did last week. I get to have real conversations with my wife, hang out with her and court shows and to begin the remaining writeups I have to do for Mechwarrior. On another note we have a rough draft of next season's DL rules. We are waiting until December 6 as the cutoff, we are aware more submissions are coming and we have no problem adjusting the draft we have to adopt any new rules. We are hoping for more submissions, so come on people, give us your ideas :)

I am also going to probably shift my username, I will keep you posted on that when it happens.

I just wanted to let everyone know that things are picking up, I am feeling better and returning to the land of the living.

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worldoflucky: (Default)
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